You Don't Need to be 'Turning Red'

This is not a movie review. 

Or maybe it could be.

I'll let you decide.

A few days ago, (thanks to my new Disney+ subscription) I watched the new Pixar movie Turning Red.  A movie, I had gathered from the trailer, was going to be a fun movie about a little girl that suddenly could turn into a 'red panda'. Classic wholesome, fun for the whole family Disney.

Perhaps I should've seen it coming, but in my life time, I never thought I'd actually see a Disney/Pixar movie talk about that old (and I do mean OLD) taboo - periods.

When it came to that moment in the film, my first thought was 'Wow, they alluded to that!' but I didn't think they'd go father.  And they did:

(Image: Turning Red, Disney/Pixar, 2022)

And I had a Meryl Streep moment:

No, not that Meryl Streep moment...

This one: 

Because BRAVO Pixar!! Thank you!!

And then of course, it occurred to me that it was a brave move by Pixar and Disney because of the ultra conservative 'pearl clutchers' that don't want to have to explain the basics of reality to their spawn.

And let me, dear friends, explain to you why this is such a ridiculous problem to be STILL confronting in 2022... (get out the popcorn, Tabby's got some ranting to do!)

I, too, was raised in an ultra conservative household growing up.  In fact TO THIS VERY DAY, my mother, who is going on 60 years of age by the way, shrinks at speaking about anything going on 'below the belt' (Unless it's worms. The woman is oddly obsessed with that. But that's a story for a whole OTHER blog!). 

60.  

To still whisper about sanitary products after an age where you don't even NEED them anymore... This is not just insane, but incredibly sad.

When I first got my visit from 'Aunt Irma', I had no idea what was happening.  Like many others to whom it was a surprise - I thought I was dying!!  And fair enough! Imagine - you're a child, you wake up with blood all over your sheets or go to the bathroom and find blood all over your underwear, you obviously are going to think something has serious gone wrong!

I also remember a time long before the arrival of 'shark week' (I'm using euphemisms, not because I, myself, have an issue with the word 'period' or 'menstruation', but because I enjoy them and think their fun. Menstruation, also kind of sounds to me like 'men being frustrated'. Oddly enough.)

I digress.

So, as I was saying, there was a time when I was a child, out with my mother grocery shopping and for the first time I noticed she was buying pads.

I didn't know what they were for, as my mother was obviously amazingly good at being discreet about her 'time of the month' (which on reflection astounds me, cause PMS kicks my ass and there's no hiding it) 

In my childish ignorance I remember laughing and asking "Why are you buying nappies (diapers, for the Americans among us)? We don't have a baby!"

My mother was positively mortified and told me to be quiet. She was quite cross with me and I had no idea why at the time.  I think I even might have pushed on and more quietly asked why, out of genuine confusion.

Later in the car she acted like I should "KNOW WHY" and I'm old enough to know that, as though I'd deliberately intended to embarrass her.

But I didn't know.  How would I have known?  She certainly hadn't told me anything.

There was another incident even further before this, when I was dragged into a classroom with a small bunch of pubescent girls to hear about 'toxic shock syndrome'. I was always tall for my age, so people naturally assumed I was older than I was as a kid.  I'm guessing I had been around 8...?  

I didn't get my first "visit" until I was 11, and had zero clue until that point, so you can imagine my ABSOLUTE confusion about the whole 'toxic shock' conversation!  My only recollection of the understanding I had regarding that time was something to the effect of 'something IN my underwear - or even possibly my underwear? - could potentially kill me if I didn't change it regularly. Not scary at all for an 8 year old to think about!

When I finally DID get that aunt Irma visit and my mother was forced to explain what was going on (probably in order to calm down the 11 year old in the bathroom who thought she was dying), all I remember my mother explaining to me is that 'it's normal, this is part of 'becoming a woman' and handing me a 90s pad which, if you were alive and remember, where shaped like mattresses you stuck in your undies. And had the unfortunate habit of rustling when you walked or sat.  Ah, the early 90s... 

My mother then proceeded to cover my bed in towels and told me that she would wake me up every few hours to make sure I wasn't bleeding everywhere.  Which, you know...  Isn't traumatic or dramatic at all... And really makes you pleased to be on the 'path to womanhood'.

I was not allowed to use tampons until a few years later, because of yet another insane taboo - the idea that when you stick anything inside a woman, she's 'loose', slutty, etc.  Oddly enough, the 'okay' to use tampons came from an even more conservative aunt my mother spoke to... Life is strange.

Are you seeing why I feel SO strongly about TALKING openly about this stuff with your kids - or anybody else - for that matter??? 

"But, Tabby," I hear you saying.  "Little boys don't need to know-"

Lemme stop you right there!  

Hell yes, they do!  

And I'll sum up the reason very swiftly - because, instead of making fun of a girl who finds herself with some blood on her skirt/pants, I would rather my son be the kind of kid that gives a girl his jacket/sweater to wrap around her waist so she can discreetly get to a bathroom. I'd rather normalize talking about bodies and what we all go through, rather than have more ignorant, buffoons running about. Let's raise intelligent kids who are KIND to each other.

The exact same goes for girls!!  When I was that tender age of 11, I had some 'friends' over.  One 'friend' insisted on going through my wardrobe and found a pack of sanitary pads - and proceeded to make a joke of it.  When 'friend 2' was confused and didn't understand what they were, 'friend one' explained that a period was when you started bleeding but you can't get to the bathroom fast enough...?  Something to that effect. 

When you don't educate your children OTHER children will be your child's educator.  And from my above example.... No.  Just no. 

Side note - that same day, one of those 'friends' left a tampon in the bathroom trash, which I got the blame for. 

To be honest, I probably didn't really understand what was happening to my body during a period until I was in my 20s.  Periods were just put to me, and I'm sure many other people, as 'part of life'.  Congrats! Mazel Tov! You're a grown up now. And you go back to your book or your tv show and life goes on.

From the dawn of time, people have been experiencing menstruation so why in 2022 are there STILL people out there who are offended by it being talked about.

I haven't even gotten started on simple HEALTH issues!

Maybe, just maybe, if we talked about our bodies and the totally natural things that go with being alive, PERHAPS, we would be further ahead in terms of providing homeless people with much needed FREE sanitary products; talking about health issues more openly so not only children aren't so confused - but adults when something 'doesn't seem right'.

Lack of communication and education, not only leads to embarrassment - it's dangerous.

So absolutely bravo, Disney/Pixar.  When you offend conservatives and get people talking, you've done something very, very right.